Our family has once again been faced with death. It has become our frequent and unwelcomed visitor.
It has filled me with so many emotions. It has brought back so many happy memories that I am so thankful for and will forever hold in my heart. All these cousins grew up together - Dustin & Travis, Josh, Kristin & Lindsey, Butch & Bryan, Brent & Scott. They were always at each other’s birthday parties, they always had Easter egg hunts together in Bunger’s and Teresa & Jeff’s yards, they went to daycare together, Elementary School, Middle School and High School, they participated in school events together, played sports together and went on trips together. And most importantly they were all friends. Friends, who hung out in the same circles, went to the same places and just had fun together, I think our children had an even closer friendship than us parents realized.
It also brings a deep sadness for the memories that we can no longer make. It also brings back that deep dark worry of receiving that dreaded call in the middle of the night that something has happened that I thought we had luckily and prayerfully passed through. As Parents, we all know the fear of that dreaded call.
I feel a deep sadness for Leonard & Jane because I have our family connection but also a connection as a fellow parent of boys the same ages. I can only imagine the hurt that Jane feels because she carried this precious life inside of her, nurtured him and loved him and now he is gone. As for Leonard, I know the love he has for all of his boys…I know the love I have for my boys. I look at him now and I see a deep sadness that no words can heal. I see the hurt and the emptiness, the pain and the anger, I see the loneliness and the fear, I see the “WHY” and I see the forgiveness. I see a Father trying to put the last pieces of his son’s life in some kind of order that he can understand. I see a Father searching for the truth. I see a Father trying to figure out how he will live his life without one of his precious sons. I think about what that must feel like. I think about what it must have felt like to only get to hold your son’s hand in the basement room of the hospital because he is too battered to look upon. I think about what strength it would take to leave that room knowing you were not taking your son with you. I think about what it must have felt like to be in the funeral home the morning before the service knowing that casket was going to close for the last time and that would be the last time he could ever look at his face or touch his hand. I think about what it must feel like to know that your son’s body will be placed in that cold ground. I think about these things from Leonard’s perspective and they haunt me because I know that so many times that this could have been me. The nights I have spent worrying and praying far surpass the nights that I haven’t spent worrying and praying….and I know at some point, this could just as easily have happened to me. I don’t pretend to know how Leonard feels because I have not walked in his shoes but the hurt that I see in his eyes tells me that I do not have the strength to carry this cross and so I send out mounds and mounds of gratitude and thankfulness to God and pray that I be spared this tribulation.
My heart also aches for Brent. My boys are the same ages of Brent and Scott so I know the bond that Brothers share. Even when they seem to be different and separate and even when they are fighting and going through different stages of life, that bond is still there. That kind of bond is not easily broken. Brent and Scott had really formed that bond in the last few years. They shared so many interests and had really come together as brothers. They had separate rooms but slept in the same room together so they could talk and look up hunting “stuff” on the computer together. Now, Brent has lost his brother, Scott forever and even though that is reality, he will still hold that bond in his heart forever.
My heart aches for little Trevor, he lost his Uncle Scott. They had really started to form a friendship that would have shaped Trevor’s life forever. Now as a young boy, he will miss out on the wisdom that Scott would have been able to share with him over time and just the fun they would have had together. It makes me deeply sad because I know of the bond that Hunter has with her Uncle Dustin and how important that relationship is to her and what a positive impact he will make on the rest of her life. It saddens me that this has been taken away from Trevor.
My heart aches for Butch and Bryan because they too have lost their brother. While they did not live in the same house with Brent & Scott, the bond of brothers was still there. You think you have a full lifetime to strengthen these bonds and I see the sadness in Butch’s eyes that this time was unexpectedly cut short.
My heart also aches for Josh, Kristin, Lindsey, Dustin & Travis. There is also a special bond that exists between cousins. Having close relationships with your cousins brings a special dynamic to the family. There is just nothing like cousins growing up close in proximity and also in friendship. It is really just an extension of your brother/sister bond that no one else can enter or break. Cousins will fight for each other and protect each other to the very end. I also see the sadness in their eyes for the loss of their special cousin.
People of all ages, Please hear me! We have to get the message out in a way that people will stop and take heed to. How many times does this have to happen??? We as parents cannot continue to bury our precious young children because of partying and drunk driving. Changes have to be made. People, I can assure you that whatever fun you think you are having is not worth this kind of result. On this Earth, DEATH is FINAL and one death affects a whole family full of people. And…this CAN be prevented…..
Rest in Peace Scott. May we always remember your mischievous little smile and the imprint you left on the hearts of your family and friends. We Love you, miss you and will never forget you!
