Missing You

Every day I am reminded of what a Blessing it was to have you in my life, Mamaw Florence. I want to take this time to write down who you were to me and some of the things you taught me.

Before I married and started my own family, YOU were my family. You were the only person I trusted and I knew without a doubt that you thought I hung the moon! I knew that you loved me unconditionally and that you would make any sacrifice necessary to put my needs first.

You taught me how to love because you loved me. You taught me how to be strong and independent by watching you be strong and independent. You taught me all my songs and nursery rhymes, letters and numbers by spending time with me reading and singing. You bought me tons of puzzles and taught me how to put them together and I LOVED them! You made sure I was always ahead and ready for school and even though you struggled, you made sure I had whatever I needed. You taught me compassion because you were compassionate. And, you kept your sense of humor by jumping out of the closet at me as I walked down the hall looking for you. You thought that was just hilarious!! But, of course it was always followed by lots of hugs and kisses (to bring my heart rate down!) Even now, a person's sense of humor is always the quality that I like in them the most.

Christmas time at your house was always special. As a child I looked more forward to that than anything else. You didn't have tons of decorations but you put each one up in a very specific way that only you could do. You didn't want any help with that part...that was all done by you. You were very particular about the way your tree looked.

We always went to your house on Christmas eve to eat and open presents. The Chicken Dressing was your specialty. This was what I looked forward to all year. No matter what was going on in my life, I knew I was going to Mamaw's house on Christmas Eve and the floor under the tree would be filled with presents for "Renee". They always came out in the floor way beyond the tree and I was always the last person left still opening presents. I felt special, loved, warm and safe. If I close my eyes right now I can still feel that joy and excitement and childlike anticipation of the days leading up to Christmas Eve with Mamaw. Thank you Mamaw for my wonderful Christmas memories.

I still have your Santa that was always displayed under your tree. I don't ever remember a Christmas without this Santa at your house. That was the one thing that I wanted from you. That Santa says "Christmas" to me, I can't imagine having Christmas without him. I proudly display him under our tree because I know how much you loved him.

The world lost an angel when Alzheimer's took you from us but I am forever grateful for the time that I had with you in my life. I have tried to spend the last 23 years teaching my boys Love, Strength, Independence, Knowledge, Compassion and Humor. I've tried to show them that I am in their corner no matter what and that the love I have for them is unconditional.

I now can pass on this legacy to my granddaughter, Hunter. I look at her with a complete understanding of how you felt when you looked at me. It is a love that cannot be explained with words, it can only be felt with your heart. My hope and goal is that Hunter grows up with the same love and respect for me that I have for you brought on as a result of the teachings from Mamaw Florence to Nana Renee.

I am grateful to you and I still and will always love you and miss you.